Tuesday, June 01, 2010

Transformers trading cards: Constructicons-Devastator

Constructicons, clockwise, from top left: Mixmaster, 
Scavenger, Long Haul, Scrapper, Hook, Bonecrusher.

I just pulled out my Transformers trading cards.  I think these are from around 1986ish.  Here are some excerpts from the back of the cards:

Mixmaster: Function: Materials fabrication.  Will use anything to make new materials.  Performs job with evil, cackling glee.  Has 8,000 degree C infrared cannon.  Certain chemicals render drum inoperative.

Scavenger: Function: Mining and salvage.  Megatron "tolerates" him only because of his ability to use his shovel's magnetic, ionic, electrical, gas sensors for detection purposes.

Long Haul: Function: Transport.  Secretly desires to be a warrior.  As a vehicle, can carry 90 tons for 1,200 miles.

Scrapper: Function: Construction engineer.  Shows his true malevolent genius by incorporating defeated Autobots into his buildings' structures.  Can fly 60 mph by addition of levitation wings.

Hook: Function: Surgical engineer.  Snobbish, supercilious, unpopular perfectionist.  Crane lifts 20 tons, error tolerance less than .00001%.

Bonecrusher: Function: Demolitions.  Rubble-strewn wasteland is his idea of beautiful landscape...rare is the edifice better off left standing.

Did some failed English Ph.D. candidate write these bios?

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