Heidfeld Confirmed As Mercedes Test Reserve Driver

Bastards.

Schumacher's return has officially derailed Heidfeld's career. It has been reported today that Heidfeld has accepted the test/reserve driver's spot at Mercedes GP. He will race this season only if Nico or Michael can't for some reason. As one poster predicted in another F1 forum, Heidfeld will be dropping banana peels in front of Schumacher at every turn.

I still have not settled on a favorite driver this season. Maybe I will just root AGAINST Schumacher instead. Let's hope he finishes no better than 4th in every race. I dislike this guy for ruining Heidi more than I dislike Leno for ruining Conan. That's saying a lot.

If Heidfeld's racing career is indeed over, here are his records:

• Most points without a win (219). I think this will be a hard record to beat. Amongst the current drivers, Nico has 70 points and Timo has 37. Nico will almost certainly win at least once this season. Timo may never win, but will never rack up 219 points in his career.
• Most podium finishes without a win (12, tied with Stefan Johansson). This is the most painful for Heidfeld and his fans. I mean, you finish on the podium a dozen times, and not once are you on top? That is devastating for your psyche.
• Most consecutive classified finishes (90% of winner's distance) (41): This, in my opinion, is akin to Cal Ripken's Ironman-esque record streak. Unbreakable.
• Most consecutive race finishes (33).
• Most finishes in a season (18, tied with Tiago Monteiro).

Why was Nick my favorite driver? He is not pompous. He is above average, but not the best. He is consistent and has a cool head. I rooted for him to get out of Q1 and Q2 during qualifying. I rooted for him to beat Kubica, finish on the podium, or win his first race ever. Alas, he never won a race.

You will be missed Nick. I really hope you return, in a competitive car. You deserve it.