Lancia Thema 8.32, the Other Ferrari Engined Sedan

We all know about the Ferrari engine stuffed inside the current Maserati Quattroporte. What many do not know (or have forgotten) is that the Lancia Thema 8.32 was the first Ferrari engined sedan. The 32 valve V8 from the Ferrari 308 was slotted into a sedate Lancia Thema body, which in turn shared its underpinings with the Saab 9000, the Fiat Croma, and the Alfa Romeo 164. The Thema looked unspectacular but that's what made it the perfect sleeper.

Good looking pictures of the Thema are hard to come by. I scoured the entire internets to find for you these tasteful shots. Trust me, it looks as boring as you think it does.


The official film of the Thema 8.32, made in Italy, perfectly captures the spirit of the Thema. It is overly dramatic, poorly put together, and makes no sense. Enjoy:

CKY

The Original Jaguar XJR

Up until this weekend, I had assumed that the supercharged Jaguar XJR introduced in the mid-1990s was the first XJR. But while looking at some old British clips of cars on Youtube, I came across an XJ40 Jaguar with an "XJR" badge on the boot lid. Is this possible?

Apparently so. In the late 1980s, the good people at Jaguar and Tom Walkinshaw Racing (TWR) formed Jaguarsport. Stock XJ saloons were shipped to TWR for a sporting treatment. The 1988 XJRs had the same stock 3.6 liter engine, but had a body kit (complete with rear spoiler), a limited slip diff, firmer springers, Bilstein dampers, 16" wheels, thicker anti-roll bars, and a Momo steering wheel.

In 1990, a tweaked 4 liter engine was used in the XJRs. This was then replaced by the Series II, which had the rectangular headlights. Between 1988 and 1994, 500 were built. 200 had the round headlights. 300 had the angular ones. With almost all of them sold in Britain, rust and abysmal reliability meant that the vast majority of these XJRs are in Jag heaven now.



Thanks to the Jaguarsport XJR website for the technical information.

CKY

Lamborghini Countach: Then And Now

Then:

The opening sequence of Cannonball Run, featuring a black be-spoilered Lamborghini Countach, did more to cement my love for cars than any other movie, moment, or experience. It was loud, fast, and looked out-of-this-world. For much of my childhood years, this model was the only thing I drew whenever I had a pencil, paper, and time to doodle.

Now:

With responsibilities, a not so perfect back, and the risk tolerance of an Associate Actuary II, it doesn't look very fun to drive any more. I would be sweating, groaning about my back pain, and worrying about the phantom car in my blind spot. This is what happens when you lose youth and innocence.

CKY

Monza Weekend - Musical Chairs at BMW Sauber

First, let's dispense with the predictions. On Saturday, Kimi or Massa will get the pole at Monza, their home turf. On Sunday, one of the Ferraris will DNF due to mechanical problems or driver error. Based on Heidfeld's performance in practice at Monza last week and today (Friday), I believe his car will be properly set up for a podium finish. With rain expected, the great equalizer will favor Quick Nick. Let's hope he clinches his first win Sunday.


With Kimi signed on with Ferrari next season, we know where Alonso is not going. This makes our favorite (and least favorite) Spaniard's chances of driving for BMW for a year that much more likely. In fact, the decision may have been made already. This means, of course, that even if Heidfeld performs better than Kubica on Sunday, he'll be out.


But then again, Kubica has been whining recently about how BMW Sauber has been paying more attention to Heidfeld than to him. Could it be that BMW, through its engineers and pit crew, is backhandedly trying to get Kubica to leave the team? The intrigue. To be inside Mario Theissen's mind right now.


I believe that with Heidfeld's experience and speed and Alonso's amazing talent and wonderful ability to communicate with the engineers to create the perfect car set-up, the Alonso-Heidfeld team can help BMW Sauber capture the manufacturer's trophy next year. I also believe that Alonso's chances of re-gaining the driver's title are high with BMW. And I'm sure Heidfeld would be more than happy to finish 2009 in second place, with a couple of first place finishes under his belt. And no, Heidfeld is not going to butt heads with Alonso a la Hamilton in 2007. Heidfeld is too mature and humble for that non-sense.

CKY

1977 East Africa Rally

Gone but not forgotten.

Remember Speed's predecessor, Speedvision? It actually showed interesting, topical, and historic races. Like vintage footage of F1 races of yore, with modern commentary by Sir Jackie Stewart and David Hobbs. And old rallies where men were men and cars did not have carbon fiber bits.

Here is a great example of what Speedvision aired-- footage from the 1977 East African Safari Rally. No all wheel drive. No helmets. It looks like a few of the drivers wore just polo shirts and SHORTS!

See if you can spot Jean Todt, 31 years younger, in the video. Hint: Look for the Peugeot entry.

The race is arguably the most grueling event ever conceived. The 1977 race covered 5,949 kilometers over four days. Of the 61 teams that started, only a dozen finished. So who finished?

Number 4: Andrew Cowan in a Mitsubishi Colt Lancer


Number 3: Sandro Munari in a Lancia Stratos


Number 2: Rauno Aaltonen in a Datsun 710 Violet


Number 1: Bjorn Waldegard in a Ford Escort RS1800


CKY

Tu-160 Blackjacks in Venezuela

Two supersonic Russian bombers capable of carrying nuclear weapons just landed at an air force base outside of Caracas, Venezuela. This is a direct retaliation for us sending a naval ship to the Black Sea to help those sorry ass, weak ass, stupid ass Georgians.

With a range of 14,000km, virtually the entire United States is now vulnerable. The little sliver of Sarah Palin's Alaska (actually just a few outlying Aleutian islands) that is out of range for the Caracas-based bombers will be taken care of by the two dozen or so Tu-160s (and other bombers) still stationed in Russia.

The bombers are supposed to join the Russian navy and the Venezuelan military in neutral waters for war exercises. It is another sign of the rise of Russia's military might. It is a great propaganda tool for Hugo. Of course, there is zero chance of any military conflict between "us" and "them". It's all for show and posturing, but we should not be ignoring it. Of course, we have more pressing matters, like cosmetics on swine, to worry about in the good ol' U.S. of A.

The whole world, and not just our enemies, is laughing at us. We're f'ed.

CKY

Heidfeld: Best Driver Never to Win

That 25 second penalty imposed against Hamilton for yesterday's exciting conclusion at Spa was a miscarriage of justice. Truly unbelievable. But, the silver (no pun intended) lining was that Heidfeld got bumped from 3rd to 2nd place.

As Heidfeld reached the podium yesterday, Speed's very own David Hobbs noted that Heidfeld has reached the podium 11 times without winning. That is one shy of the record held by Swede Stefan Johansson, who placed 2nd and 3rd 12 times.


This leads to the question: Is Heidfeld the best Formula One driver to never win a race? Here are some stats for you to chew on, courtesy of the good people at F1 Rejects:

• Most points without a win: Martin Brundle 98, Heidfeld 189
• Most fastest laps without a win: Jean-Pierre Jarier/Chris Amon 3, Heidfeld 2
• Most poles without a win: Chris Amon 5, Heidfeld 1
  
• Most entries without a win: Andrea de Cesaris 214, Heidfeld 147
  

Obviously, Heidfeld still has another 3 to 5 seasons left in his F1 career. If he stays with BMW next year and there is parity with Ferrari and McLaren, he should be able to get that monkey off his back and win at least one race. If he does not but continues to finish well, then he will cement his place as the best F1 driver to never win a race. It's a distinction I'm sure Quick Nick would not be proud of.

The best Heidfeld overtaking compilation video online

CKY

10 Days, 10 Formula One Sponsors (Day 10)

On the tenth and final day, I failed. Without a proper sports car of my own and especially without a basic understanding of how to heel-and-toe, I could not justify spending hundreds of dollars on a pair of Puma racing shoes (Puma sponsors the tenth team, Scuderia Toro Rosso).


But if I were to be in the market for a pair of racing shoes, I would opt for the Puma Trionfo Mid Pros. Among the shoes' features: assymetrical lacing to improve blood circulation and decrease lactic acid build-up. Plus, they have carbon fiber heel stabilizers. How cool is that?


Summary:
Day 1, Kingfisher beer, Force India, 8/10
Day 2, Intel chip, BMW Sauber, no rating
Day 3, Mercedes-Benz C300, McLaren Mercedes, 3/10
Day 4, ING Direct savings account, Renault, 6/10
Day 5, Panasonic KX-TG2352, Toyota, 4/10
Day 6, Shell gasoline, Ferrari, no rating
Day 7, AT&T phone service, Williams, 2/10
Day 8, Honda Accord Euro, Honda, 8/10
Day 9, Red Bull energy drink, Red Bull Racing, 2/10
Day 10, Puma Trionfo Mid Pro shoes, STR, 7/10

My conclusions after my ten day experiment? Though F1 is aimed at the European and Asian markets, the reality of globalization means that most of the products and services offered "there" are also available "here" in the U.S. I also found out that though F1 tries to exude exclusivity and exotica, some of its sponsors produce some pretty mundane stuff such as savings accounts, compact cars, and computer chips. Finally, a few of the products and services are not only mundane, but crappy as well, e.g. Mercedes vehicles and AT&T telephone service.

CKY

10 Days, 10 Formula One Sponsors (Day 9)

Just to be clear, even though I did not post this yesterday, it does not mean that I did not use a Formula One product/service yesterday. Last night, I had a few sips of Red Bull. I had not had one in years. And it tasted the same, like carbonated piss. I often wondered how Red Bull had enough revenue to sponsor two F1 teams, Dakar, and miscellaneous motorsports teams. Then I realized that they were selling a can of the stuff at the convenience store for almost $2.50!

The energy drink worked so well, by the time I got home last night to write this, I was so tired and promptly fell asleep.

Today will be the toughest. Day 10. Scuderia Toro Rosso. Do I end up buying a pair of Pumas? Stay tuned.


Summary:
Day 1, Kingfisher beer, Force India, 8/10
Day 2, Intel chip, BMW Sauber, no rating
Day 3, Mercedes-Benz C300, McLaren Mercedes, 3/10
Day 4, ING Direct savings account, Renault, 6/10
Day 5, Panasonic KX-TG2352, Toyota, 4/10
Day 6, Shell gasoline, Ferrari, no rating
Day 7, AT&T phone service, Williams, 2/10
Day 8, Honda Accord Euro, Honda, 8/10
Day 9, Red Bull energy drink, Red Bull Racing, 2/10

CKY

10 Days, 10 Formula One Sponsors (Day 8)

Though Honda is at the very bottom among manufacturer teams in F1, my Honda Accord Euro is great. It has been reliable, fuel efficient, and quite zippy for a four cylinder. I don't even mind the FWD setup that much. Plus, the resale value has been rock solid.

Honda will win the constructors championship...in its Dreams(tm).

The first Honda Accord saloon

Summary:
Day 1, Kingfisher beer, Force India, 8/10
Day 2, Intel chip, BMW Sauber, no rating
Day 3, Mercedes-Benz C300, McLaren Mercedes, 3/10
Day 4, ING Direct savings account, Renault, 6/10
Day 5, Panasonic KX-TG2352, Toyota, 4/10
Day 6, Shell gasoline, Ferrari, no rating
Day 7, AT&T phone service, Williams, 2/10
Day 8, Honda Accord Euro, Honda, 8/10

CKY