Pavlov And NWA

With all this talk of Northwest Airlines and Delta's merger, I see a lot of stock footage of Northwest airplanes. But every time I see the livery, I think of the other NWA.


CKY

Help A Tajik Cabbie

A friend just introduced me to Kiva. It gathers and distributes micro-loans to entrepreneurs in the developing world in an easy and fun way. Since this blog focuses on rare cars and Central Asia, donating to Salom Fazilov was the natural choice.

Salom and his IZH 412IE

Salom runs a taxi business in Istaravshan in western Tajikistan. He is raising money ($950) to fix up his cab, sell it, and buy a newer model. Donors chip in $25 each. In just five days, he has already raised $400 on Kiva. Once the money is raised, Salom will pay the money back over a 12 month term. I wish Salom the best.

Just for background, Salom's IZH has a 1478cc engine. When new, it produced 72hp and 78 pound-feet of torque. In 4th gear, it maxed out at 88 mph. It reached 62 mph in a leisurely 19 seconds. It got 23.5 mpg.

My guess is his replacement will be a used Korean sedan. I'll keep you posted.

CKY

Today Was A Good Day

As I sit here, huntin' and peckin' away at my keyboard and swiggin' a Stella Artois, I must declare that today was a good day.

It all started during my morning commute. Before my car barely warmed up, I saw parked on the side of the road an excellent green Land Rover Series 1. It had just enough patina to show its character and age but looked very well taken care of.


As I pulled into my office parking lot, I saw another beauty: a 1973 signal yellow Porsche RS. Though this one was in concours shape, it was parallel parked in front of a dentist's office.

Imagine this, but shinier, in bright yellow, and under a deep blue California spring morning sky

Then, I learned the publication of my first tip on jalopnik. It was inspired by my recent piece on The Duel. The best part was that it was the most commented-on piece of the day on the popular blog (140 comments compared to 66 for the second most commented-on piece).

To top it off, at work, I did what would normally take me three days in a six hour blitzkrieg session.

Today was a good day, although not as good as the one Ice Cube had back in 1993.

CKY

What Features Do You Want On Your Cell Phone?

As a proud member of the latte (actually, double espresso) sipping liberal elite, I spent my Sunday morning reading the New York Times magazine. What caught my eye was an article about a cultural anthropologist (employed by Nokia) who travels around the world to see what features the poor and illiterate need on their cell phones. The results are surprising and not so surprising. Here are some suggestions for the dream cell phone:

• Land mine detector so that owner can safely return to his village- Liberian refugee
• Weather forecasting capability- Mumbai slum dweller
• GPS system that points to Mecca for prayers- Muslims
• Water bottle-shaped phone so that it can hold fresh water and float during monsoons
• Air quality monitor- Rio favela resident
• A "peace button" that would instantaneously end all gunfire in the neighborhood

Makes us look kinda shallow spending all that time looking for the Knight Rider ringtone, doesn't it?

CKY

Andre the Giant Has A Posse

CKY

BMW's Gift to Moviedom: The Hire Series

Back in 2001 and 2002, BMW released eight short films starring Clive Owen (who at the time was rumored to become the next James Bond) and its entire vehicle line-up. Along with C'etait un Rendezvous, the films in BMW's The Hire series are the best short films about fast cars ever made. Top action movie directors from around the world were chosen to direct the movies. Co-stars included James Brown, Forest Whitaker, Gary Oldman, Don Cheadle, Madonna, and Mickey Rourke. I loved watching them when they first came out. Today, they are just as fresh and exciting. Let's hope other carmakers follow BMW into this unique form of advertising.

I have compiled all of the films below. Watch them all in one sitting or bookmark this blog and come back for a movie a day. It will keep Dr. Z away.

Ambush: John Frankenheimer, 7-series


Chosen: Ang Lee, 5-series


The Follow: Wong Kar-Wai, 3-series


Star: Guy Ritchie, M5


Powder Keg: Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu, X5


Hostage: John Woo, Z4


Ticker: Joe Carnahan, Z4


Beat the Devil: Tony Scott, Z4

CKY

Soundwave And His Tapes

All hail Soundwave!

Soundwave was by far my favorite Decepticon. Its voice intrigued me. That a small microcassette player could transform into a robot the size of Optimus Prime confused me. Its arsenal of cassettes-turned robots/jaguar/condor frightened me.

Soundwave in action

I want this shirt.

CKY

Devastator!

Every red blooded American man in his early 30s remembers Devastator. It is the amalgam of six Decepticons called the Constructicons. This green and purple machine wreaked havoc everywhere. To jog those tired synapses, the individual Constructicons are:

1. Scrapper (front load shovel), right leg
2. Bonecrusher (bulldozer), left arm
3. Scavenger (excavator), right arm
4. Mixmaster (concrete mixer), left leg
5. Hook (crane), head/shoulders
6. Long Haul (dump truck), lower torso

*Each sold separately

Collect them all!


Constructicons tribute


Constructicons commercial

CKY

Zima and the Q45, Victims of Zucky Adz

In our hyper-consumerist society, advertising firms and mega-corporations successfully push almost anything and everything-- the tacky, the useless, shit-- on the mindless public. We love stuff, especially if it comes in a super economy 18-pack, super sized, or best yet, if we buy one and get one free.

The reverse of this phenomenon is when a large company and its advertising accomplice try to sell a really great product, and fail. Two corporations, Coors and Nissan, failed miserably in the early 1990s in selling Zima and the Infiniti Q45.

In 1989, the Lexus and Infiniti marques were introduced to battle BMW and Mercedes. Their flagships, the LS400 and Q45, had V8s and were priced around $40,000. Design-wise, the Infiniti was edgier. Performance-wise, the Q won hands down, in power (278 versus 250 horses) and 0 to 60 times (6.7 versus 7.9 seconds). So why did Lexus outsell Infiniti by a ratio of 4 to 1?!

The best 1990s full-sized luxury sports sedan that no one ever saw.

It was the ads. The ill-fated zen ads Infiniti aired showed rocks, zen gardens, and waterfalls. In fact, the ads showed everything but the friggin' car. It was a disaster. I would not be surprised if the campaign is used now as a case study in B-schools. In fact, it was not until the introduction of the G35 in 2003-2004 that Infiniti's sales figures finally awoke from its decade-long slumber.

The rocks and cascading water make you want to buy an Infiniti.

Now, we come to Zima. Yes, it was the butt of a lot of jokes in the 1990s. E, a good friend from college, loved Zima. Mind you, he's anything but your stereotypical Zima drinker (see picture below). As typical guys, we would insult each other. He would call me a chimp or a moron. But when I needed a comeback, I would simply tell him, "At least I don't like Zima."

Typical Zima drinker, or so its ads would suggest.

Truth be told, I actually liked Zima, a lot. I would hang out with E when he was drinking Zima just so that I could partake in a bottle or two. As the pitchman in those lame ads proclaimed, Zima has "no zuds" like beer and is "not zo zweet" like wine coolers. It was light, refreshing, delicious, and buzz-inducing.

But alas, because of the initial Zima ad campaign, an otherwise great beverage will forever be derided and mocked. I guess the lesson we can take from the Q45 and Zima is that no matter how crappy an ad is, the product may not be all that bad. Juzt zomezing to zink about.

CKY

The Cowards and My Day Chasing the Olympic Torch

Uyghurs outnumbered, but stood strong.

The IOC, San Francisco mayor Gavin Newsom, and the PRC are cowards. They tricked everyone-- supporters and opponents of the torch run and the media-- and used a totally different and secret route that was miles from where an estimated 10,000 people waited.

The IOC, led locally by the ever myopic Peter Ueberroth, wanted the torch run held, no matter what. Newsom, with his eyes on a governorship, wanted to do everything in his power to kiss Chinese ass. The Chinese government, not wanting to lose face, was willing to do anything but face reality.

*Actual route may vary.

The original route was supposed to take place along The Embacadero. But with thousands of people on the street (instead of patiently and obediently staying behind the barriers and on the sidewalks), there was no way the torch run could be completed. The run did not use the original route. An attempt was not even made. The run was not canceled. Instead, the powers that be decided to run a completely different, and secret, route.

Thousands of Chinese were bused in from all over California and handed professionally made signs and incredibly large flags. They were united and out in force. Many Chinese retirees were marching in single file like PLA soldiers along the route, hours before the run was to begin. Most were civil, a few got into shouting matches with opponents. What disturbed me the most was one Chinese man yelling at a Tibetan and calling him a "slave".

Out of the sea of Chinese and Tibetan flags, there were a few blue East Turkestan flags. About a dozen Uyghurs participated in the march. I had the honor of meeting Rebiya Kadeer, the exiled and respected Uyghur leader.


Fortunately I had a radio with me. I learned of the route change, hopped in a cab, and caught the torch crew at Bay and Van Ness. I then took a short cut through Fort Mason and met them again at the Marina Safeway. I then followed the procession along Marina Boulevard all the way to Chrissy Field. Every torch bearer, cop, Chinese security goon, and member of the official media in the yellow amphiboat heard and saw what I had to say.

Unfortunately, not many protesters knew about the new route. Protesters were vastly outnumbered by well-to-do (and conservative or apolitical) Marina types. Many of them cheered for the torch. They were more concerned about scheduling their next botox appointment than the slaughter of innocent monks or the imprisonment of human rights activists in China.

The rich get a skybox view of the torch run.

For those of you who were not there, do not be fooled by the footage of the run showing no demonstrators. 99% of us didn't even know where the torch was! The closing ceremony was at an anonymous and private conference room at the airport. They knew that we would top London and Paris, and the only way they could make it out of San Francisco without being thoroughly humiliated was to run a secret route. But alas, running the secret route was the ultimate humiliation.

CKY