Saturday, October 28, 2006

The Bond Movie Rankings

After nearly two months, I have watched every Bond movie, in reverse chronological order. By the end, I felt like I had run a marathon. I am exhausted. But here are my rankings. I've reviewed some of these movies already. Eventually, I'll have posted my full thoughts on every one of them. So chew on the following while we wait for Casino Royale's premiere.

1. The Spy Who Loved Me: Moore at his best, Jaws, and the Lotus sub.
2. For Your Eyes Only: Melina Havelock is the best Bond girl and the 2CV chase rocked.
3. On Her Majesty's Secret Service: The last scene showed the Bond we will never see again.
4. The Living Daylights: Insight into post 9/11 geopolitics, from 1987.
5. Goldfinger: Formulaic in all the right ways.
6. From Russia with Love: Classic spy thriller, with a dash of Gypsy.
7. Octopussy: The title says it all.
8. Thunderball: The DB5 and the jet pack stole the show.
9. Diamonds Are Forever: Messrs. Kidd and Wint upped the "creep" factor.
10. Dr. No: Imagine if Jack Lord was James Bond.
11. Live and Let Die: 007 goes to Harlem.
12. A View to a Kill: Best Bond theme song, by Duran Duran.
13. Goldeneye: Brosnan was a great Bond, but Goldeneye, at #13, was as good as it got.
14. You Only Live Twice: Connery blends into a Japanese village, right.
15. Tomorrow Never Dies: Pryce (Carver) ruined Infiniti, and this movie.
16. The Man with the Golden Gun: Third nipples and midgets are not ingredients of a winner.
17. Never Say Never Again: Never again, Mr. Connery, please!
18. The World Is Not Enough: Amazing how a movie with Marceau and Richards as Bond girls can be so dull.
19. Die Another Day: All flash, no substance.
20. License to Kill: License to Ill.
21. Moonraker: Just plain bad.

Conclusions: After watching all of these movies, I have come to realize what a genius Mike Myers is. He incorporated elements from virtually every Bond movie, brilliantly.
I've also picked up on 007's influence in shows as varied as Inspector Gadget (Dr. Claw) to Magnum P.I. (Higgins as Q). More later.

Update 1: I would place Casino Royale in 3rd place, just behind For Your Eyes Only and displacing OHMSS. The movie was better shot than any other. The role of 007 was much darker, complicated, and incomplete (in a good way). It does not place higher because the car chases were lame and the casino card tournament was a complete waste of time and celluloid.


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