I wake up early and head west in my rented Peugeot. It rains on and off the entire way, about four hours. I don't feel comfortable driving fast so everyone is passing me. The national route is one lane in each direction and very well maintained. Cayenne has crappy, nondescript cars. But as I approach the border town of St Laurent du Maroni (population 50,000; it's the second biggest city in French Guiana), I am passed by an SQ7 and a CLS wagon. I later learn that one-third of the cocaine in France is transported by drug mules along this road.
As I pull into town around noon, it is raining hard again. I park my car, run out onto the muddy grass, and take this photo. Across the brown Maroni River (they say some of that dirt in the water is from Peru) is Suriname. I made it. It is incredible. What an achievement.
I immediately run back to my car and drive a half block to the former prison. French Guiana used to be a penal colony and this was the infamous prison where Papillon stayed.
I highly recommend the movie starring Dustin Hoffman and Steve McQueen.
The prison/museum is kinda meh. Only a couple of buildings are open to the public and they're filled with sterile exhibits and contemporary art. Nothing jarring or macabre. Bummer.
Since I am so close to the equator, it gets very dark right after sunset. I want to head back to Cayenne as soon as possible. But I need to eat lunch first. There's a highly rated Chinese joint nearby. As I walk there, I notice a lot more Amerindian faces. I can't miss the restaurant. It's very busy, packed with Chinese, black, Amerindian, white, and mixed customers. I order the combination chow mein and these fried shrimps that I've seen in a lot of French Guianese Chinese restaurant menus. I sit at a communal table across from a middle aged black lady. At the next table, an Amerindian family who just arrived by motorboat from the jungle is enjoying har gow and shumai. The food is decent.
On the way back, I take a potty break on the side of the road. There are only two or three tiny towns between Cayenne and St Laurent du Maroni. I am amazed that there are no potholes, or even puddles, on the road.
When I had my YJ Wrangler in the '90s, before any long trip, I would pat the car on the dashboard and wish for a safe journey. For the first time in over 20 years, I pat the dash of the Peugeot and wish for a safe journey. The rain is really gnarly.
After 600 kilometers of white knuckle driving, I am back in Cayenne. I really scored with my hotel room.
I fall asleep on the couch and am awakened by drums. It sounds like a high school marching band. Mildly annoyed, I wake up and walk to my balcony. It's a bunch of young people participating in a miniature pride parade. Upon seeing the trans flag, I get a little choked up.
Tomorrow, Brazil!
*I did not cross into Suriname and immediately come back because I did not want to be hassled by immigration/customs.
*I am going to crunch the numbers and compare our grades with Rotten Tomatoes'. Stay tuned.
Dave's review: It is difficult to describe the feelings one has after watching and digesting No Time to Die. Especially if you are a true Bond fan. There is the feeling that you've just witnessed a true cinematic masterpiece. There is also the feeling of deep sadness. There is a lot to cover here. Please note spoilers ahead.
More than any other Bond film, Time tells a complete story full of human emotion and complexity. It starts by exploring Madelline's past, revealing the first of two secrets she is harboring. Ley Seydoux gives nothing less than an Oscar worthy performance in this film. She displays such strength and vulnerability in her role, the most complex of any Bond woman ever, Having Bond visit Vesper's grave to forgive her was a stroke of genius. This is when you know the filmmakers are being so true to the characters. Refreshing to see in an "action film."
A perceived act of betrayal then ensues setting off Bond's journey, a journey that includes the deaths of Felix Leiter and Blofeld. Christoph Waltz is brilliant in the small amount of screen time he has. In one of the most compelling scenes in the movie he pushes Bond's buttons by letting him know he was wrong about everything. Craig's acting here is extraordinary. Imagine having your life turned upside down in five minutes and you're not supposed to react.
Bond's subsequent declaration of love to Madeline is compellingly real, right before he finds out she has been hiding a daughter from him. True to her character, she claims it isn't his. For the rest of the film there is an urgency unlike any previous Bond story, as now it's about protecting a child. It's pretty cool to see. The suspense is further heightened through the utter creepiness of Rami Malek as Safin, definitely one of the more memorable Bond villains.
Which brings us to THAT ending. Wow. My first reaction was how can you kill 007? If you really think about it, what else does it mean other than the end of the franchise? I don't buy the "it's the end of Craig's Bond." Killing off a character is killing off a character. But it is what it is. Shock value aside, it's a perfect ending to this film, with Madelline riding off into the sunset with Bond's daughter and Louis Armstrong's "We have all the time in the world" playing. And M's toast about man's purpose is to live, not exist is inspiring well beyond this film. Bravo for No Time to Die. A movie I will rewatch for years.
TT's review: The Craig series (and perhaps the entire Bond series) ended with a BANG. I have never cried before during a Bond film, until now. They packed a lot in and they did it seamlessly. All the nods to past films. The opening car chase. Felix dying. The Cuban party. 007 as a dad! Although I look forward to seeing who will replace Craig, I am also fine if the franchise just ended with this movie.
Dave's grade: A+
TT's grade: A+
Dave's reaction: I for one would not be ok if the franchise ends. This is the longest running film series in history. Like diamonds, it should go on forever.
TT's reaction: Well said. Bravo.
My friend and I are done reviewing every Bond movie except one. Please rate No Time to Die. I'll make a chart when everything is done.
— Tamerlane's Thoughts (@TamerlaneBlog) May 27, 2022
Dave's review: To start with, Spectre is a great name for a film. Bringing back Ernst Stavro Blofeld was a stroke of genius. I wouldn't be a fan of the franchise recycling other iconic villains but in Blofeld's case, it was fun to see him being played by a top notch actor like Christoph Waltz. The first 30 minutes of the film were incredibly suspenseful as Bond goes off the grid to follow through on M's last wishes. I love the way all the Craig films both tie in to past films somehow and feature a personal stake for Bond. Monica Bellucci was alluring in her role and it was refreshing to see an older woman play a "Bond girl." The real star of this movie though was Lea Seydoux, who brings a fire that has been missing in most of 007's love interests. She and Craig have outstanding chemistry. And the ending, reminiscent of the end of Dr. No when Bond and Honey Ryder are guests at Dr. No's liar is both eerie and thrilling. The end of Spectre leaves you curious and excited for what comes next, which is in many ways the ultimate compliment bestowed on a film.
TT's review: I watched Spectre over Christmas and thought it was meh. But I rewatched it last weekend (to jog my memory for this review) and ended up really liking it! It was by no means a cinematic masterpiece, but it was thoroughly entertaining.
The casting of Lea Seydoux was inspired. Tying Blofeld's past with Bond's was fun, if a bit forced. The Mexico City scene really captured the essence of the city and Dia de los Muertos. The nods to the past-- the original Aston Martin, the Alpine clinic, Tangier-- were sentimental and made me realize Craig wasn't going to be around forever.
The only thing I didn't like was the whiny intro song by Sam Smith.
Dave's grade:A
TT's grade: A
Dave's reaction:It's a completely unmemorable Bond theme song.
TT's reaction: Perhaps we agree that Seydoux is the best Bond love interest!
These lines by Berenice Marlohe and Daniel Craig are the best part of Skyfall. Moreover, Marlohe is. She is sexy and alluring, and commands the screen when she is on it. The other strength of this film is portraying 007 as a washed up secret agent who can't even hit a target. A younger whiz kid Q is refreshing as well. However, the rest of the film is a bit overrated. Don't get me wrong, it's a good film but I don't quite understand why most people gush over it. Mendes tried to make Skyfall an homage to his favorite Bond films of the past and it comes across a little like that. The mother-son dynamic between M and Bond is unique but feels a little forced. And the storyline about M's forced resignation detracts from everything else. Bardem is excellent as Silva as he is in every role but I wish he could have had a little more screen time and I hate to say it, but Judi Dench less. Overall this might be the weakest of the Craig entries as well as the only one that doesn't tie together to all the other films, but it's still fun to watch.
TT's review: I really liked Skyfall. It's like two movies in one!
The ensemble was perfect. Bardem may have been the best villain. My only disappointment was Naomi Harris ending up being Moneypenny instead of a double-0. From an acting perspective, Marlohe was far superior to many other Bond Women. I also want to bring up the fact that the actor who played Tanner is very underrated. Finally, the walled city was an incredible shooting locale.
The second half of the movie, with just Bond and M, was basically a story of a mother and her son. I found it touching and very un-Bond-like.
Dave's grade: B
TT's grade: A
Dave's reaction: The walled city was an excellent location and Naomi Harris was fun to watch.
Mira Sorvino had a great career in the 1990s until she was blacklisted by Harvey Weinstein after three terrible interactions. Now that he is in prison, she is back! This WTF podcast interview is worth a listen, especially the bit about her studying in China just before Tiananmen.
The interview inspired me to watch Mighty Aphrodite, for which she won an Oscar. I had never watched a Woody Allen (yuck) movie from beginning to end before.
...which led us to re-watch Romy & Michelle's High School Reunion. A true classic.
Dave's review: What's cool about Quantum of Solace is that it's the first direct sequel of a Bond movie. It picks up literally minutes after the end of Casino Royale. This movie is better than most people give it credit for. Yes it is dark and brooding but it is consistent with Bond's character following the betrayal he suffered at the end of the last movie. The action sequence during the Turandot performance is thrilling as is the chase scene after Mr. Green escapes from M16 custody. Both Olga Kurylenko and Mathieu Amalric are weak as the leading female and villain. Gemma Arterton though shines as Strawberry Fields, one of the best names for a Bond girl in a while! The climax of the movie was also a bit lackluster but it was always going to be hard to follow the greatest Bond film ever made.
Dave's grade: B-
TT's review: Most Bond fans dislike this installment and believe it is the worst of the Craig series. I agree that it's not the best but it has a lot going for it. The opening car chase was phenomenal. Mathis may be my favorite side character. The scenes at his villa and in Bond's arms were standouts. The film was very 2008-- digital cameras instead of smartphones, America going to war for oil, extraordinary renditions to black sites. I dug the geopolitical intrigue, which harkened back to the Connery Cold War films.
A minor detail that I really enjoyed was the typography used to denote every new exotic locale.
After Mathis died though, the movie was a dud.
TT's grade: B
Dave's reaction:Interesting observation about the timely themes. That was one of the more appealing aspects of the film. And Mathis is to be missed.
TT's reaction: It's impossible to follow Casino Royale. As the late great Louie Anderson told Marc Maron, nobody wants to follow Sam Kinison.
The boy is four and has a lot of fun with the larger Duplo toys. I had not thought about transitioning him to regular Lego yet because he's not old enough and I can't imagine stepping on a million loose pieces with my bare feet. But our neighbor bought him a camper van (for ages 5+) for Christmas and we had a great time building it together. He even slept with it last night.
I guess I should not be surprised that there are YouTubers who review and analyze Lego sets.
We will get more soon. This super complex and expensive Millennium Falcon is unbelievable.
Dave's review: Casino Royale is the greatest James Bond movie ever made. A very bold statement I know, but let me back it up.
First, it offers up a completely refreshing take on the series, essentially rebooting it by depicting Bond as a brand new "double o." Daniel Craig embodies this role perfectly, full of brash confidence and relentless devotion to the mission. He even makes mistakes, showing that he is not quite yet the polished secret agent you are introduced to way back in Dr. No.
Second, the love story. Quite simply this was the best love story to date, yes, even better than OHMSS by virtue of the complexity of the relationship. Vesper sees through Bond like no one else, and their shared experiences lead to an entirely believable chemistry. There is no more poignant scene in maybe all Bond films than the shower scene when Bond comforts a traumatized Vesper after the stairway fight. She saves his life, he shows real concern for her, she nurses him back to health, he gives up the service for her. And that's not even brushing the powerful tragic ending, which helps to explain why Bond is the way he is going forward.
Third, it keeps you on the edge of your seat the entire time. There's the thrilling Madagascar chase scene, another great chase through the Miami airport, riveting poker hands, the first film by the way to really highlight Bond's prowess as a card player. And the last act of the film completely shifts to a calm before the storm dynamic. Director Martin Campbell is in complete control of his craft.
And last but not least, the performances. Craig is a revelation as Bond, the best actor to ever embody the role. Eva Green is stunning as Vesper, delicately showing off all her different sides, and Mads Mikkelsen is downright sinister as Le Chiffre. The supporting cast is excellent as well.
Dave's grade: A++
TT's review: What can I say? This is the perfect Bond film. It's so raw. Bond showed emotional vulnerability. Verper Lynd was complicated. And Mads Mikkelsen as the villain!
Daniel Craig saved the Bond franchise from obscurity. I mean, can you even imagine any of the past Bonds doing the Madagascar construction site foot chase scene?!
TT's grade: A+
Dave's reaction: It's very true that Craig may have saved the franchise. Audience's patience were wearing thin with Brosnan and the recent lackluster entries.
TT's reaction: I'm glad we agree this is the best Bond film. I can't wait to read your thoughts on the other Craig films.
Dave's review: Die Another Day takes things to a whole new level of awfulness. It features a cartoon plot, laughable dialogue, and mostly phoned in performances with the exception to Rosamund Pike. What's worse is that it tries to be serious by portraying Bond as a broken man due to being tortured in North Korean captivity. Nobody buys it for a minute. Like Tomorrow Never Dies, some of the action sequences are so long they become boring. The ice palace was a pretty cool sight to behold though, and the sword fight was somewhat entertaining.
Dave's grade: D+
TT's review: This movie aged badly. Everything about this was terrible, except Rosamund Pike's presence. Pierce Brosnan's acting was piss poor. Halle Berry looked like she was acting in front of a green screen with not a single breathing human within 200 feet of her. Michael Madsen as the impatient Bush-era intelligence chief seemed out of place. And don't get me started on that weirdo Zao and his diamond encrusted face. Everything about the movie stunk. Thank gods Daniel Craig is about to swoop in and save the day/franchise.
I used to think Moonraker was the worst Bond film. Not anymore.
TT's grade: D-
Dave's reaction: It's kind of funny to think that this was Rosamund Pike's film debut. So if not for this, we may never have had Gone Girl!
TT's reaction: I'll have to go over the past reviews, but this may be the worst Bond film.
Dave's review: The World is Not Enough is Pierce Brosnan's best outing as 007. It is actually a very underrated entry that gets better with repeat viewings. Much of this credit can be given to Sophie Marceau who plays the villainess Electra. You may remember Marceau as the Queen in Braveheart. She is a fine actress and her chemistry with Brosnan's Bond drives this film. What also works in this film is that there are numerous scenes in which you believe Bond is in actual danger, or a tough spot at least. This element was missing from the first two Brosnan movies. The pre credits sequence is astounding, particularly the boat chase outside M16 headquarters. And yes of course there are the inevitable Denise Richards jokes and her name Christmas Jones certainly goes down as one of the worst in the franchise. But Richards wasn't horrible. You just obviously don't buy her as a nuclear scientist.
Dave's grade: B+
TT's review: I'm the kind of person who forgets the plot of a movie or book as soon as I finish it. But this is especially true of this, the most forgettable of Bond films. When I try to remember it, I just remember Baku, oil, and the BMW Z8 on the pier. But after seeing it recently, I realized it should be one of the most memorable because of my love for all things Central Asia and Silk Road. Azerbaijan, Kazakhstan, and Turkey all play central roles in this geopolitics thriller. I think Denise Richards really spoiled the movie for everyone. Sophie Marceau was a near dud. But I am really glad they brought Zukovsky back. I like him a lot. And it was sad to see Desmond Llewelyn go.
TT's grade: B
Dave's reaction: It is just amazing seeing Desmond Llewelyn still playing Q ever since From Russia With Love. The truest of legends.
TT's reaction:What were they thinking with Christmas Jones!
Dave's review: Tomorrow Never Dies starts off with a bang, with an edge of your seat pre credits sequence illustrating 007's faithfulness to his mission at all costs. In many ways it all goes downhill from there. Part of the problem is that the main villain Elliot Carver, played by Jonathan Pryce, is a cartoonish megalomaniac that you never take very seriously. Later on, the film throws at you one action set piece after another, including a motorcycle chase that literally never seems to end. Michelle Yeoh is a breath of fresh air and her martial arts sequences are one of the highlights of the film, but the chemistry between her and Brosnan is a bit lacking. It's a shame Teri Hatcher wasn't in more of the film. She was compelling and the backstory between her and Bond was one of the only parts of the film to feature genuine drama.
Dave's grade: C-
TT's review: First, the good. The movie coincided with the handover of Hong Kong back to China. It was the unofficial end of the British Empire. The conflict between China and Britain was certainly topical, but I don't think anyone back in 1997 could have predicted the quick ascendency of China. Another good was Elliot Carver the villain. Was his media company based in part on Fox News, which was founded in 1996?
Now, the bad. Brosnan and Michelle Yeoh had zero chemistry. Don't get me wrong, I am all for casting a strong Asian woman, but the pair were just going through the motions. It was almost depressing.
TT's grade: B
Dave's reaction: Great observation about the Fox News parallel.
Dave's review: The problem with GoldenEye, for me, was the friendship between Bond and 006. I never really bought it. And because the movie focused so much on it, it affected the entire experience for me. That being said, it is a very fun movie with great set pieces and an excellent underrated score by Eric Serra. Having Judi Dench play M was a nice and very welcome twist for the franchise. And Brosnan certainly fit the part. I mean he just looks like who you expect James Bond to be! I can't help but think though that the generally rave reviews for GoldenEye were due to the fact that it came after License to Kill. Overall still, a good and much needed reboot for the franchise.
Dave's grade: B
TT's review:Excellent on so many levels. This might be one of the best all around Bond films. First of all, Brosnan is a handsome dude. Sean Bean played an excellent villain. The tank scene was 100. What I enjoyed the most was how topical the movie was, to wit:
-end of Cold War
-Moneypenny brings up workplace sexual harassment
-Judy Dench as the female boss calling Bond a dinosaur
-free-for-all Yeltsin Russia
-THE INTERNET
My only complaint is Xenia Onatopp. Not a believable character.
TT's grade: A
Dave's reaction: I think some might actually say that Brosnan is too much of a pretty boy to play Bond. The Cold War stuff was cool though.
TT's reaction: Bond's friendship with 006 was strange, but then again, Bond quit his job to avenge Felix's near death in the last movie.
The second and final Dalton Bond film, License to Kill!
Dave's review:License to Kill sucks. In almost every regard, it didn't even feel like a Bond movie. The entire storyline is gimmicky, Bond trying to avenge a murder for a friend, Bond getting his license revoked. Someone should have done a spoof and called it License to Drive. The movie did not flow well. There were too many villains and most of them were completely forgettable. Plus Dalton in super intense revenge mode is simply not fun to watch. The only semi interesting part was watching Bond gain Sanchez's trust. Some of it was believable and rather clever. The female jealousy angle was lame and neither Bond girl was a particularly interesting character. Even the massive tanker chase at the end just felt like it dragged on. Feel free to skip this entry.
Dave's grade: D
TT's review: I am a fan of Dalton's but this was an objectively bad movie. Where do I even begin? The tinpot dictator in Isthmus City. Sanchez's fickle girlfriend Lupe. The greedy inept Asian businessmen. The list goes on. The saving grace was the Q-Carey Lowell duet. And one more thing, why the heck was Felix laughing at the end of the movie when his new bride was just killed?! I can see why Dalton was replaced after just two movies.
TT's grade: D+
Dave's reaction:Agree. Dalton sealed his own fate with this one, and the franchise almost didn't recover. License got trounced at the box office and it would be another 6 years before the next Bond film.
Dave's review:The Living Daylights featured a much more serious, intense James Bond, played by Welsh actor Timothy Dalton. This didn't work for a lot of people, as Dalton didn't flash the familiar charm of a Connery or Roger Moore. However, from a movie perspective, Daylights has one of the most satisfyingly complex stories. It also portrays Bond as a one woman man, again worked for some, not for others. The pre-credits sequence, a training exercise gone awry, is thrilling and one of the best Bond action scenes ever. A subsequent fight in a kitchen, sans 007, is hand to hand combat at its finest. The film meanders a bit in its middle and Maryam d'Abo as Kara, is not one of the more memorable Bond women. Overall due to the lack of dynamic characters and personalities, this film is an average entry in the James Bond canon.
Dave's grade: B-
TT's review: Sentimentally, The Living Daylights is my favorite movie. Dalton is my favorite Bond. His Aston Martin V8 is my favorite Bond car. Although I liked Moore's cheesiness, Dalton's dark presence was welcome. I was 13 when this came out, so it definitely left an impression.
However, upon watching it in 2021, it wasn't really that good. Something was lacking. The inflated grade is due more to nostalgia than merit.
Also, I watched this while the US was fleeing Afghanistan. In the movie, there were plenty of dead Soviet soldiers' bodies laying around. It was "acceptable" because they were our enemies and they were killed by local freedom fighters. How would we react if those bodies were American soldiers?
TT's grade: A-
Dave's reaction: Funny thing is, Daylights has a lot of sentimental value to me too as it was the first movie I ever saw in a theater! But upon repeat viewings it just seems a bit dry and not so fun.
TT's reaction:I agree with the assessment, but a B- is harsh.
Dave's review:In A View to a Kill, Roger Moore is ancient, hitting on a Tanya Roberts who is probably 30 years younger. He snowboards to The Beach Boys "California Girls," races thoroughbreds and hangs off a blimp in midair over the Golden Gate Bridge. All of it adds up to good ol' fashioned fun. John Barry outdoes himself with one of the best action scores of the series and Duran Duran rocks it with the title song. And of course there is Academy Award winner Christopher Walker chewing up scenery. If you're looking for a serious film, this isn't it. Most of the characters are cartoonish, but there are some moving moments, such as when May Day sacrifices herself to help Bond. The plot is also intriguing and the climactic fight on top of the Golden Gate Bridge is utterly thrilling. Certainly not a bad way for Mr. Moore to go out.
Dave's grade: B+
TT's review: This movie has a lot going for it. Kickass soundtrack courtesy Duran Duran. Christopher Walken as the villain (probably tied with Javier Bardem as best actor to play Bond). That Renault taxi car chase in Paris. And on and on.
But something was missing. I felt like Roger Moore was just calling it in. It was, after all, his last Bond film.
What intrigued me was May Day. She was tough and mysterious. If this movie were made today, the studios would surely make a spinoff with her character as the lead. What would that be like?
TT's grade: B+
Dave's reaction: Moore fared admirably. Not that there were many truly dramatic moments in the script for him!
