Saturday, February 02, 2008

Rides of Heads of State (Part 22)

As we head towards the bottom of the Third World, the rides of presidents and PMs inevitably end up being SUVs. With few paved roads, high clearance, all wheel drive pseudo-luxo-barges are a necessity.

140. Chad. As President Deby is holed up in his palace, thousands of rebels riding in old Toyota technicals with chopped off roofs are entering the Chadian capital as we speak. I would recommend against escaping to the airport via French special forces escort with his official Hummer H2, as it is a dead giveaway of the occupant's identity.

141. Mozambique. The president of this former Portuguese colony, which has recently been the victim of massive flooding, rides in a white Land Cruiser.


142. East Timor. Gusmao, the charismatic former rebel leader of this ex-Portuguese colony also rides in a white Land Cruiser.

143. Syria. This was an elusive catch. After sitting through a long propaganda video of Bashar planting trees with his wife, I finally learned that he rides in an all black Land Cruiser.

144. Haiti. Preval rides in a big black Suburban with tinted windows.


145. St. Lucia. The only exception to the SUV rule today is PM Stephenson King, who recently acquired a black long wheelbased 7 series BMW.

Updated tally:
S-class: 46
7 series: 15
Land Cruiser: 15
A8: 8
Maybach: 6
Phaeton: 4
Caddy: 4
Holden-Chevy-Opel: 3
G-wagen: 3
H2: 3
Jag: 2
ZIL: 2
Volvo: 2
Touareg: 2
Mitsubishi Montero: 2
Suburban: 2

One of each of the following: Lancia, Hyundai, Skoda, A6, Peugeot, Renault, Lincoln, VW van, London taxi, Daimler, Toyota Century, Hongqi, Bentley, Rolls, Ford Fairlane, Aston Martin, SEAT, Ford Expedition, Nissan Patrol, Stutz, Suzuki, Camry, Toyota Crown, Toyota Sequoia, Proton, Land Rover

CKY

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