Silk Road Walnut Creek: 4 out of 5 Yelp Reviewers Smoke Crack

4.8 out of 6 of these yelp.com diners will rave about their respective meals.

4 out of 5 dentists recommend Dentyne gum. Coincidentally, 4 out 5 yelp.com restaurant reviewers were on crack when they wrote about Silk Road in Walnut Creek.

Rather than a lengthy diatribe, I will list six things, in chronological order, that were wrong with this place. It's not that the food was inedible or the service was surly, it's just that with all the rave reviews and high prices (three times that of a food court meal, but equal in quality) made it a real bummer as a dining experience on a nice Friday evening in the Creek.

Without further ado:

1. For a place that touts exotic lands and maps of China on the wall and menu, feng shui was tossed out the window when they designed the seating arrangement. Awkward and crowded sum it up. Our table for two abutted the bar, right next to jars of olives and manichino cherries.

2. The menu. A place called the Silk Road should have cuisines stretching from Greece or Turkey all the way to China, with everything in between. Instead, it's Greek and Italian (pizzas). WTF?! Calling such a place Silk Road brought great disdain and ire from Tamerlane.

3. Mint tea. Fine, it's a Greek place. My wife will have mint tea. "Mint tea? No, we don't have." He brings out a cheap tea bag of herbal tea instead. Not a good sign.

4. Rather like Chevy's, they bring out an inconsistently cooked piece of folded flatbread (moist on the "left" side, thin and dried out on the "right". Accompanying it is a mysterious dipping sauce of balsamic vinegar, olive oil, scallions, parsley, Parmesan and garlic. The only flavor I got out of it? Wet.

5. We order the appetizer combo for $7.95 consisting of hummus with the consistency of chunky peanut butter, baba ghanoush with more oil than Prince William Sound circa March 1989 and a forgetable parsley and bulgur tabbouleh.

6. Readers of this fine electronic rag know that Tamerlane loves lamb kebabs. He orders the entree ($15.95). The lamb, the only highlight, was tender, fresh, but a little charred. At Antioch Kabob House, you get three times more meat (of the same quality) for half the price. The accompanying whole roasted tomato was raw in the center. The rice was a mix of saffron and white. Rather than flakey and flavorful, it was just wet and limp. The plate was completed with two dull spears of asparagus, one lonely string bean, and slivers of salty (unintentional, I'm sure) carrots.

The quality of the food is decent for a food court. Our meal would be a good value at $10 to15. It ended up being $29 plus tip.

The lesson? Tamerlane will never rely on yelp.com for restaurant picks again. As long as yelp.com is online, Colombian coca farmers, Mexican narco-kings, and low level American crack dealers will have plenty of business.

CKY